Really narrow pronouncements of Southerness

Posted on March 6, 2011 by

10


Recently, I’ve seen something float across FaceBook…

I am proud to be Southern -where tea is sweet and accents are sweeter; summer starts in April; front porches are wide and words are long; macaroni and cheese is a vegetable; pecan pie is a staple; Y’all is the only proper pronoun; chicken is fried and biscuits come w/ gravy; everything is darling and someone is always getting their heart blessed. Have a good day y’all! Re post if you’re Southern

1) I have to ask is, “a Southerner as it relates to when?” Since sweet tea is the first item to appear here… is it Southern as defined by the old Mason-Dixon Line, or the new McDonald’s Tea Line?

2) This summer in April thing… ummm, not in the upper South! Quite honestly, I think whoever came up with this statement is beginning to narrow the perspective down to somewhere in the lower South.  So, then, should it be, I’m proud to be a “Lower Southerner!”? Lol! O.k., maybe that doesn’t work… maybe “I’m proud to be a Southerner from the Lower South”.

3) “porches are wide and long?”!… well, again, I get a hunch that this is lower South.

4) Regarding the mac and cheese thing… now, whoever wrote this just narrowed down to personal perspective, and is thinking strictly in his/her own little world, and apparently isn’t aware of the life of mac and cheese before being dubbed “Southron”. Also, in that the South has some pretty deep agrarian roots, I seriously doubt that any self-respecting Southerner would pronounce that that mac and cheese is something that is grown… that is, unless the Southerner (supposed) who wrote this hasn’t even grown a tomato in a pot. Why am I getting the feeling this may have been written by an impersonator?

5) Pecan pie… yep, this sounds like a deep Southron to me… considering the Southern Pluralism post, what do ya think Craig?

6) Fried chicken. I get it, really, I do. It does seem to be a Southern thing, but, I’m afraid it too is adopted from, quite possibly, the Scots and African-Americans who settled, eventually, in the South. It didn’t originate here!

7) Biscuits and gravy… are biscuits a spin-off of scones? Hmm. And as for gravy, well, it’s been around since ancient Egypt (ca. 3000 BC). Now, I can’t confirm or deny, but putting the two together… I can’t seem to trace those origins. This might be… just maybe… the real deal. Yet, I think it would have to be sausage gravy. I just don’t think chipped beef is Southron.

8 ) Oh boy. Think Jeff Foxworthy’s, “you might be a redneck”. O.k., you got that in your head? Good. So, then, “If you think when a Southern woman says ‘bless your heart’, that it means, unconditionally, that you’ve just received a compliment… you might be a Yankee.” Just sayin’… To be honest, any real Southerner knows that it depends on the context in which it is said! Same goes for the use of the word “Darlin'”, eeee-uhum… and not “Darling”.

9) The use of “ya’ll” is something that can easily be adopted by a Yankee to make oneself appear Southern. Considering #8, I’m thinking that whoever came up with this may be a Southerner from the deep South, who was raised, sometime after age 8, in the North. Again, just sayin’…

… and I’m appalled that, not once, did this person mention anything about cornbread!

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Posted in: Southernism